Tardies

It has been awhile since my last post and I fully intended to write something meaningful about divorce again, but frankly, I can't write about that today. It's not on my emotional or creative radar. With that out of the way, let's discuss the topic of tardiness.

One of my biggest, most irritating peeves is adults who are habitually late to everything - meetings, work, social gatherings, appointments,...you name it. You know who they are. They're the ones we have to adjust our own clocks for. "If I tell her 7:30 pm, then she'll definitely be there by 8:00 pm," for example, or "Yeah, he's always about ten minutes late, so we should probably go ahead and order our drinks."

This, my friends, is horse shit. Now, I am not irrational about this topic. I know that things sometimes prevent us from being on time. I have been stuck in traffic having planned sufficient time to get to work or tried to leave for an appointment only to have an unannounced colleague stop in to talk about something important to our work. I have been late. What I haven't been though is HABITUALLY LATE.

So this is for all of you, TARDIES. Consider this when you're giving yourself a five-ten minute cushion or arriving thirty minutes late for an appointment.

When all is said and done, being habitually late is RUDE and it makes you look bad to others. It smacks of unreliability and instantly subtracts your maturity credits. Showing up late to everything is selfish, irresponsible, and is not a good way to be taken seriously. Let me clarify a bit. When I say "tardy," I mean, late all the time, for everything, and without remorse, reason, or excuse. Now that you have all the caveats, I'll continue.

Tardies often don't feel all that badly for being late to something. There is often little by way of reason and at times, they portray this "Well, you know how I am" attitude whenever a suspicious or disappointed glance is thrown in their direction. Tardies, to be clear, don't really care if they've kept others waiting or inconvenienced someone else. Tardies care strictly about themselves, their own timetable, and expect others to conform to this irresponsible sense of untimeliness.

A tardy would be late to his own funeral causing the mortician incredible grief, not to mention his friends and family.
I jest not.

In grade school, tardies were given detention or write-ups for their lateness. There were consequences. How that didn't transition to adulthood, I don't know. Maybe they had poor role models who were late to everything. Maybe they simply have an aversion to scheduling, but what Tardies don't understand is that there are real consequences to their routine, unprofessional behavior.

1. Tardies make everyone else wait. This is blatant disrespect. Your friends, family, loved ones, coworkers, etc. have made time to make you a priority and you keep them waiting on you. You expect them to adjust and relax about it, but in actuality, you've messed with their schedules, their patience, and their sense of time management so they can get their goals completed that day. Your lateness is rude, inconsiderate, and well, tardy. All you're saying with your actions is that you care more about you and much, much less about others.

2. You are unreliable. You can't prove that you can show up on time, so what would compel an employer to hire you? If a manager cannot rely on your showing up on time to do your job, what does that mean for his/her company or department? Tardiness can cost you money and respect.

3. You look stupid and disorganized. People who are always late are considered more childish and more incapable of responsibility. More and more people will avoid giving you responsibilities or asking you to do things. You will exist without much professional or social credit. You're a lark - a disorganized person who can't be trusted with what's important.

4. You let people down. Show up late to your child's program or a friend's wedding? Show up late to a date or a meeting? Putting your unwillingness to plan ahead and refusal to schedule wisely shows you simply don't care about the team here. This can result in loss of relationships - unions important for social balance and comfort. Who wants to be there for you when you won't be there for someone else?

5. Being a tardy, as mentioned before, is selfish. Selfish people don't make friends and they're not great role models. You're the paramount of "what not to do" as it relates to everything and eventually, people will stop calling, stop asking, and stop adjusting. Being a tardy can result in loneliness.

And this is what I don't understand. Perhaps I am naive to think that is a very important characteristic in adults, but I've found that more often than not, people who are late to everything are widely unpopular, unfocused, immature, and typically the last one to arrive and the first one to leave. There's an exception to every rule, but to date, I haven't found it.

Even if your friends and family make jokes about your always being late, this isn't a good thing; it's their way of coping until one day they can't take it anymore. Eventually, tardies are going to miss something important and it's going to hurt more people than ever intended. I have yet to hear someone I know (who is a Tardy) give me a reason (a valuable reason) for always being late. Here are some excuses though:

"You know me. I'm always late." (F-Off.)

"I'm running behind." (So, you still set your alarm as late as possible? How about setting it for ten minutes earlier. Just in case?)

"I've just been so busy, ya know." (Really?! As in, my time isn't valuable and I'm not? Again, F-Off.)

"I was on the phone." (If you can't multitask or prioritize by now, I don't wanna connect with you all that much.)

"Thanks for waiting." (You're assuming I did it willingly.)

Growing up, I lived in a family who was perpetually early to everything. I still do this. It's not really a great way to go either, but it's far less disrespectful than being late. If anything, I've grown comfy sitting in my running car for ten minutes before going in for an appointment.

And life does happen to people. Cars break down. Kids throw fits and wrench up even the best laid plans. People get sick. People oversleep. Traffic is nightmarish. I know, I've been there. Being late once and awhile isn't a problem. It happens. But being that guy/woman who is ALWAYS behind schedule, always tardy, is inexcusable to me. It's downright rude.

I know I sound self-righteous and I don't mean to. Not really. I recognize that though I'm always on time, I need to relax my sense of right/wrong. I get that. But it seems as if in this day it's more commonplace and "accepted universally" that people can be late. With all of our technology for scheduling and multitasking, if anything, we should be ahead of schedule, if not, at least, on time.

*end rant*