On particular relationships...

Most of the time we tend to focus on the relationships "that matter most," particularly when we use that term in conversation. You hear "relationship" and typically you think - spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, family, friendship, spiritual, etc.

But what often gets lost in the fray are those relationships, that until you step out of bounds or are reconnected with them, you tend to not think about all that much.

In the past 24 hours, I've noted three relationships that I certainly play a partner in that I too often take for granted until presented with something outside the bounds of 'the norm.'

First, I had dinner with a friend at Henry's last night. Instead of my usual table, where I sit nearly weekly now with my boyfriend, I joined my pal at the bar for dinner. To my surprise, the waitress (or server if you're socially conscious) rounded the corner of the bar and exclaimed: "Dana, you're cheating on me? With another bartender?!"

Our server at Henry's is awesome. She makes a point to remember our names; is conversational; and often interjects some valuable humor or insight into each dining (or drinking) experience. Truth is, I kind of love her for that. :) But it never occured to me that within that relationship exists a loyalty (ie. Dana at Henry's = always sit in her section).

She was very good-humored last night and we joked a bit about my sitting in another seat; but it got me thinking about relationships and how sometimes we aren't cognizant enough of our own roles within them.

I still love her a little. :)

Today, I got my hair trimmed up and lightened. Recently, I've been visiting a salon in Angola only when I'm up there and particularly because the stylists there are hometown acquaintances I feel know my hair and style likes/dislikes. I also go to Namaste salon for two other reasons: the cost/quality ratio and it gives me a great reason to visit my hometown and family.

However, I do work with stylists at home, here in Fort Wayne. I love them too. They do a great job and are friendly, just like those I visit back in Atown. Unfortunately, when the economy tanks (note - not 'this economy' as my phrase) I have to factor in cost as well.

But my relationship to my hair stylists is one of loyalty as well. For one, I feel a sense of guilt, say 'cheating,' every time I don't go to my familiar stylist in Fort Wayne or vice versa. I feel like I'm cheating, or worse, "seeing someone else on the side," when in fact, my whole goal is to still treat myself within the confines of my budget.

I've also changed stylists in the past or they've left for other opportunities and I recall feeling a sense of loss each time akin to "now who will I open up to?"

Getting your hair, nails, brows, etc. done is definitely much like dating. You go out in public with your hair done knowing that if you run into another stylist, he/she will know you've strayed. There's anxiety, risk, guilt, and of course the trust placed in the relationship that yields those feelings. (These professionals have irons and blades to your head and neck!)

You trust in them to not cut you, not wax too much, not burn your scalp, or accidently slice your neck moles off - so inevitably, the relationship is a serious one.

And the guilt and anxiety is most often on the customer because we want to please our stylists and make them our friends - not only because we don't want to be maimed (lol), but also because they become wonderful people with whom to share anywhere from 30-130 minutes of great conversation each time.

Ever get a bad haircut and fear telling the stylist? Did you tip her/him anyway? Bet ya did. Not only is the relationship sensitive enough that you harbor guilt and shame for not liking the end result, but that you actually feel compelled to over-compensate despite wanting your hair shaped up, a different color, or bottom line - it just doesn't look like what you'd hoped.

Relationship scenario here? "Do these pants make me look fat?" The answer is always "no" to this and when getting your style on, the answer is always "I love it." And you say so, because you like your stylist and want them to be just as happy with their work as they are you.

I know, sounds crazy, but it's true. :)

Lastly, after having my hair done last week, I went to my hometown dentist who I've been seeing for checkups since I was probably 12 years-old. Dr. Williams and his staff ALWAYS does a good job and I have what I would call a set of healthy, pretty chompers. Last fall, my employer changed dental insurance plans and my provider now covers less-to-zero with Dr. Williams' group. Hmmmm...I thought this through. I put off my annual checkup for nearly six months only to 'give in' and go back to his office despite the risk of added cost.

I mean, how can I switch dentists now?!
I owe Dr. Williams for my big smile and lack of gingivitis right? I can't cheat on the guy that always gave me an extra-soft toothbrush (which by the way, is damn near impossible to find in mainstream stores) and the shortened fluoride treatments. He's also the guy who tells me "You don't have yellowing teeth...you're just fair-skinned." How can you not appreciate a guy who says that when you know full well you drink a pot of full-flavored, dark roast every morning!? :)

I have a little anxiety about the impending bill.
But I never strayed in this relationship and I feel good about that.

So think about it...relationships are out there in various shapes and forms and sometimes it takes a little thinking and reflecting to realize just how many relationships you have! I've built relationships with car dealerships, non-profit organizations, work colleagues, nail technicians, sports teams, and on and on and on...

It's hard work you see, being faithful all the time in this respect.
Particularly when it crosses that line so often referred to as "the customer is always right."

Methinks no.