Irrational Fears...For real guys, this is serious.

I'll be brief, but having just unintentionally swallowed a tangerine seed, I thought I'd dedicate this blog to my most irrational fears...Enjoy.

1. Swallowing seeds. It must have been that story they told us as kids about the watermelon that was going to grow in your tummy if you swallowed the seeds rather than spit them out. I kept worrying about that until I realized that some of my friends were just pregnant. :)

2. Semi tractor-trailers. These monsters jack-knife and load-shift. How is that NOT terrifying. I'll just hammer the accelerator until I'm safely out of your jurisdiction semi-driver. Besides, you're only going 60 mph anyway.

3. Eating chewing gum. Again, childhood stories. I still sometimes think about the floor of my stomach resembling the blacktop at Carlin Park Elementary. It was pretty gummy.
Eeeew.

4. Getting poor grades. I have no other excuse than that I'm a bonafide NERD.

5. The dryer blowing up. You know this one...the one about the lint trap? Despite cleaning it regularly, I always wonder if that thing's gonna catch fire while I'm somewhere else in the house. This is compounded when I find a lighter in a pocket or a wad of unused Kleenex.

6. Showing up in a public place without a shirt or pants. There have been times that I've double checked. :) Usually I've just forgotten about a curler in my hair though. It gets so windy here that sometimes I seriously feel like something's missing.

7. Weird noises. Creepy, spooky, gross, you name it...I'm usually startled by it. I know a few people that like to startle me on purpose. It's usually a good time. For them. :) I'm just shy of clinically deaf, so anything loud enough to shock me, well there ya go.

8. Being walked in on in a public bathroom stall. THIS IS TERRIFYING. About a year ago, a drunk woman barged into a stall while I was using it. She made some stupid comments. Ever since, I not only bolt the door, but put anything else I can against it in hopes of thwarting anyone's attempt to get in. Talk about embarrassing and well, awkward!

9. Falling in the shower while home alone. 1) It's gonna hurt. 2) One of our cats may find me first and neither can communicate. 3) No clothes. No makeup. No nothing. Just me in a crumpled heap and my brand of shampoo exposed the world.

10. Any food past its expiration date. I'm sorry, but I won't even open the milk if it's past the due date. I don't know if I'm more afraid of stomach poisoning or the smell.

Happy Monday!