"We've decided to start trying..."

One thing I've always had difficulty understanding is the social conversation that goes a little something like this...

Person 1: "So, when are you two going to have children?"

Couple: "We've talked about it a lot especially now that the wedding stuff is over."

Person 1: "And?"

Couple (shared look, googly eyes): "Well, we've decided to start trying."


I. Don't. Get. It.

"We've decided to start trying," conjures up a host of meanings that exceed the realm of child-creation; however, for the purpose of staying on task, let's explore this particular topic first. Really folks, what you're telling the audience - presumably friends, parents, family members, random people in the grocery store - is this: "We're having more sex lately. It's with each other. We're also adding a schedule, position regimen, and have eliminated all forms of birth control."

*Shudder.

WHY does anyone have to know this?! To me, the important fact that seems press-worthy is the ensuing pregnancy or birth. You know, something short and fun like "We're pregnant" or "We're going to have a baby." Yeah, that seems appropriate.

Not "We're trying."

Eeeew.

It strikes me as something as regoddamdiculous as a Persian princess cat wearing a lime football helmet. WHO CARES?

Perhaps I'm a little too results-oriented, but frankly, when couples say they're trying to conceive, all it does is broadcast a mating ritual unique unto itself. It's like saying "We're having sex, more lately, and it's very different from what you're doing. I mean, we're trying."

Uh huh. Sounds like white paper sheets and sample cups to me.

Why not just share the happy news when it gets to that point? And please, don't show me your ovulation monitor. It ticks off my feminist ovaries who are somewhat timid of today's technology.
(and child birth, to be honest)

I don't know want to know if it's 'that time' and you need to leave our lunch date to go home and get your 10 minute swerve on and I certainly don't want to know if your man is now wearing boxers instead of briefs.
(Sorry guys, she tells.)

I have to say, I love children. I think they're great. I even think motherhood and parenthood is cool. I just don't understand this one particular socially accepted topic of conversation. I mean, it just seems so...PRIVATE - perhaps an experience best shared between the two, like-minded individuals with the same objective at hand. Or well....you get the idea.

All I hear when "We've decided to start trying" is "We're doing it more, likely more than you are, and it's a lot more prescribed and kinky than ever before."

Yikes.

Call me old-fashioned or even a bit prude, but honestly, most of us have the know-how (not always the resource depending on health). What we'd rather hear about is the progress after conception to say, year 18 or more.