Recently, I caught myself saying "Wow, where did all the rappers go?" You laugh, but the comment was made as I was driving along, wishing for the old school hip-hop and rap days of the 90s. Today, everything's on auto-tune (aka T-Pain) and any pubescent right off the Disney boat can get a record deal. (And I shouldn't scoff knowing that Britney, Christina, JT, and others are graduates of MMC.)
But I digress...the point is, I caught myself making one of those cliche remarks meant to state "things aren't like they were in the good old days" and it turned my mind to what I miss about pre-Millennium days. Maybe you miss these things too...they are noticeably from the cusp - The Generations XY:
1. Old school rappers. You know the ones that pushed the envelopes. This was before bling and before auto-tune. Think Snoop Dog, Dre, WuTang, Jay-Z, Ludacris, Eminem. Think The Roots or Arrested Development. Groups focused on real social issues or ones making fun of themselves. Nowadays, you don't really have to rap much and the real push is to see how sexual your content can get. I don't know who came up with that ridiculous "Say Ah" crap, but it's tacky and gross.
At least Luda is still fun, even though he's teamed up with Justin Beiber. *Sigh.
2. Disney Popsicles. You know the ones shaped like Mickey, Donald, and Goofy. They came in only three flavors at the time: cherry, orange, and grape.
3. Mixed tapes. Time spent fast-fowarding and rewinding made the experience more fun. It was a challenge to tape the songs off your favorite radio station.
4. Speak-n-Spell. I know several adults who could still benefit from this. Fred Durst got it. For a minute.
5. The Real World on MTV before it became about how offensive and stupid young 20somethings can be. Anyone else miss Real World San Francisco or Seattle? Sure, the fashion sucked, but the program was about real life issues back then and not how drunk you can be before you hump your cast mates.
6. Summer jobs. I used to be a waitress (ahem - server) as well as an umpire for a youth baseball/softball league. Making cash hand-over-fist only to blow it on cheap clothes, food, or booze was awesome. Saving a portion of it for college was cool too. Nowadays, who saves for college? Most people now can go for free or default on their loans.
7. Bag phones or "brick phones." Back then, your cell phone did one thing, computed numbers and transmitted a signal. You had to talk to people more often than not, face-to-face. If you were really non-confrontational, you sent a hand-written note in class to the person you liked or hated, depending on the day. Now, you can de-friend someone on Facebook or annihilate a relationship with one click.
8. Bubble Tape, Bomb Pops, Dots, Band-aid gum, Runts, Blow Pops, Airheads, SweetTarts, Bottlecaps, etc. Old school candy is simply awesome. Classic flavors, fun ideas. Back then, M&Ms stood on their own and didn't conform.
9. TV programming. This was the dawn of the 'your parents are stupid' age, but there existed enough quality TV that kids didn't feel like knifing their parents after an episode. Saved by the Bell, Cosby, Nickelodeon (pre-2000),...it was all pretty harmless. Back then, it was questionable if your parents let you watch 90210, Melrose Place, or You Can't Do That on Television. Bonus if your parents were cool with you watching Beavis and Butthead or The Simpsons. Nowadays, you can be naked and swear on TV, prime time.
10. The ball park. People just hung out there. You weren't required to have a Nintendo DS or Wii back then. You were outside, playing, until dusk most of the time. Technology and pedophiles kinda soured that for people. Grr. Back then, sledding, skiing, or just making a mess in the snow was equally awesome. Hot chocolate was usually a perk afterward and it didn't come from a packet with dehydrated marshmallows.
11. Camping. See #10. Really, I just think everyone needs to be outdoors more.
12. Old school Nintendo. I challenge anyone in my age bracket who didn't love Mario and Luigi. :)
13. Being yourself. If you weren't yet obliterated by high school politics, you were a badass just in doing what you liked to do, when you wanted to do it. We call those adults brash now.
14. Four-square. And that teacher's aid who always yelled at you on the playground. I spent a few stints in the 'bad box' at Carlin Park for general merriment at the expense of Ms. Junk.
15. Field trips. Remember when it was okay to load up buses of kids to do something in the name of education? We sent 8th graders to Chicago and Washington DC. High schoolers to the Bahamas. Back then, parents could typically trust that their children would return safely, not impregnated, or facing jail time. Teachers were viewed with respect, not as pedophiles or abusers.
16. The fashion. Now, I can't say that I EVER want stretch pants, Breakers, silk shirts, side ponytails, slap bracelets, Hypercolor, Umbro, or neon to ever come back, really...but come on...we were FUNNY.
Funny looking.
Points if you had one of those All-Star jackets or one with huge Magic 8 Ball on the back. LMAO.
WTF were we thinking?!
If you were a woman, you had bangs. And they were BIG, but not 80s big.
17. Bikes and rollerblades. If you didn't have one or the other, you didn't go very far. I still contend that Heelies suck. Razor scooters are okay, but a far cry from actually working out. Skateboards were the bomb.
18. Dodge Ball and Kick Ball. It was brutal and you lost your dignity most of the time whether you got hit in the face or the privates or never got picked first for a team, but no one got through grade school without these. Your school was awesome if you had to play Pickleball or Steal the Bacon.
19. That one coach in middle school or high school. You know the one - the one who treated you like crap because they wanted you to succeed or because you generally pissed them off. The one of questionable sexual orientation and usually taught gym on the side. No matter how awful this person could be, you respected them because they were HARD.
20. Study Hall. One free hour a day. At 30 years old, I yearn for a STUDY HALL.
21. Book-IT. You got free pizza for reading. That was cool. Back then, the Pizza Hut mints tasted like mint too, not cinnamon. They still had red candles on the tables and PacMan.
22. The vans. Everyone had a parent who drove a shitty-looking or stupid-looking van back then. It was just a matter of how bad it was - Caravan? Beauville? But by God, you could get ten-fifteen of your adolescent friends in it to trick-or-treat every Halloween!
23. Diaries. Every offense and every thought - you wrote it down and prayed your little brother or sister wouldn't read it. Now the world reads it - online. Thank you, Blogger. :) And these days, you have nothing, NOTHING, to be ashamed about. Everyone is public.
24. BFFs. You know, the ones you shared the heart necklace with. Not your 5,023 Facebook friends, but the one or two pals you could trust your life to or really, your most recent crush and other relatively embarrassing moments.
25. Camp. If you didn't go to summer camp, you suck. Camp was where you grew up, learned to break a few rules, and had your first one-three week girlfriend/boyfriend from another city/state.
26. Jump ropes. The ones made of durable plastic and multiple colors. They clacked on the ground when you used them. The American Heart Association held fundraisers. You got the whip-like ones for double dutch.
27. Scrapes, scars, bruises, and scabs. So you hurt yourself. Back then, you sniffed a little, slapped a Band-Aid on it and went back to what you were doing. You got points if you got stitches or a cast. Now? Your parents are going to sue the school, the park, or the city depending on what happened. Crap. Maybe all three.
28. Parties. Your friends' idea of partying ranged from snagging alcohol on the weekends to all evening horror movie fests. Sometimes it was tailgating. Sometimes it was camping at Jellystone. Sometimes it was just going out and making some trouble. Now...you get Facebook. Period. Twitter if you understand it.
The really cool young-ins (and I mean early middle school) are chillin' at Starbucks. I will never get why kids 12, 13 jones for coffee products.
29. Bare feet. When it wasn't snowing, being barefoot outside was safe and freaking awesome.
If it was hot and you could walk on asphalt, you were TOUGH.
30. Respect. These were the days right before the narcissism and self-entitlement of the growing technological age. It was cool to do something nice for a friend and it was even cool to watch John Hughes films. Life was still tough and kids were still cruel, but you learned and grew from it. Your parents sucked, but you still liked them. You volunteered, you were a Brownie, a scout, a teammate, and that made it okay. The grading scale was rigid and ISTEP wasn't around. Kids were the kids and the parents were the parents. After school specials were just that, a show you could watch with a juice box and some cookies. You tipped your waiter, your pizza guy, and your hairdresser. You had a shitty car and $20 would buy you anything you wanted at Glenbrook Mall.
And the future was bright. You could do anything. You didn't deserve anything, but you knew you could get it if you wanted to.
:)
